The Happy Hob

The Bodhisattva of Scuffed Setups

The_Happy_Hob is a regarded Twitch streamer notable for "no-hitting" video games by playing them to completion without taking a single enemy-inflicted hit. He was the first person to ever "no-hit" a Dark Souls game. His initial "no-hit" run of Dark Souls was met with disbelief by the series' creator Hidetaka Miyazaki due to the difficulty of that franchise. He inflicts considerable punishments upon himself for failing self-assigned "no-hit" challenges. His most well-known "no-hit" runs to date are the Dark Souls trilogy run, the "God Run" which was comprised of the Dark Souls trilogy, Bloodborne, and Demon's Souls, the "God Run 2" which appended Sekiro to the original "God Run," and the "God Run 3" which added Elden Ring to the "God Run 2." The "God Run 2" took him two years and seven months to complete, whereas the "God Run 3" only took him two months to complete.

Lucifer explaining how close he was to beating God.

Ornstein resets the run.

Majora kinda sus.

His real name is Aiden Jelobi Mason. His other known alias is DarkSoulsPhil. He stands 5'4" and eats a diet exclusively of pot noodles and Ferrero Rocher. His favorite book is The Mind Illuminated, his favorite film is Good Will Hunting, and his favorite person is "the love of my life and my babe, Megantron". Despite having a favorite book, he is semi-illiterate due to spurious homeschooling, most of which he spent playing Runescape. He frequently excuses his deficiencies by citing that his father smoked a lot of herb when he was a child. He elicits subscriptions from unsuspecting viewers by threatening his beloved pooch Linkypoo. He furthermore constantly lies and makes excuses for why he is unable to stream on a particular day. If breaking keyboards and controllers in soy-fueled fits of rage is ever rendered a punishable crime, he will have to serve multiple life sentences. He has so far been banned not just once, but twice from his preferred streaming platform for terms-of-service-violating sexual content.

According to a cabal of longtime Hob viewers, when Hob is mapped to Hare's Psychopathy Checklist he scores a conservative 27 out of 40 possible points, with 30 being the score necessary to be considered a confirmed psychopath. Therefore, if at least three extra points can be gained from unavailable or inconclusive categories such as Criminal Versatility and Revocation of Conditional Release, it is more than possible that the common allegation of Hob being a "pathological liar" is regrettably literal.

Updates

Regrettably, an unedited image of the sorts of putrid meals that Hob eats on stream.

The average Hob stream experience.

A dual syllogism and heuristic for navigating the endless gaslighting of the stream without being driven mad as a consequence.

As of November 2024, The_Happy_Hob's Twitch subscription count has dropped to 2016 levels. Hob is currently looking for an entry level job at Tesco (or equivalent) and, in the meantime, is happy to provide reasonably priced "happy endings" under the Manchester Trinity Bridge, making good use of his soft gamer hands. However, due to his long-running issues with RSI, this current endeavor is not expected to last very long.

In June 2025, Hob streamed twelve times, at 2.9 hours on average, for 35 hours total. Considering that he always airs a 20 minute musical intro, and around a half-hour of "BRB" (be right back) intermission videos at minimum, we can subtract at least one hour from each of these twelve streams, bringing us to 23 hours of actual content for the month. As a brief refresher, the average job without overtime is 40 hours a week or 160 hours a month. This means that the manlet worked less than a seventh (1/7th) of a job during this period.

Hob's conservative scoring on Hare's Psychopathy Checklist (30 = confirmed psychopath).